just got home after subjecting myself to the wettest floppiest chunkiest pizza ive ever eaten and im trying to wrap my head around the fact that this place unironically has 5 stars on google. literally how. pizza is a simple artform. you walk in, ask for some pizza, and some greasy schmuck or smokin babe (no in between) hands you something delicious a few minutes later. they dont talk about how fresh their ingredients are because they know that the only prerequisite for good tasting pizza is making sure the pizza tastes fucking good.
its not theatrical. you just made your pizza look special by making it taste like shit, but people still find a way to love you because you went the extra mile and put a leaf on your sogfest. maybe youve fooled grandmas who dont know shit about a good slice, but i dont want any part in your bougie organic wetslop 30-hour-crust shitbrigade. you mean nothing to me
$20. be serious
